100 classes/100 days

My challenge is complete! I did 100 Bikram yoga classes in 100 days! (Actually, I did 102 classes in 102 days because I had to do some cleaning at the studio the two days after my 100th day. I was exhausted by the end of day 102.)

I had to do four doubles in the last week, and I was wiped out toward the end, but adrenaline and all of the support at the studio helped me through the doubles on the final two days. The studio owner even made me a poster and hung it up in the hot room! I'm so lucky to be surrounded by amazingly kind and thoughtful people.

I want to report that class 99 on day 100 was the first class (ever) that I was able to complete all 26 postures. Granted, my postures were not at their full expression, but I did not sit out for a single posture. I focused foremost on my breathing, which guided me through each of the 26 postures. If I have to designate one aspect of my yoga as being the most improved, it would be my breathing -- I've really learned how to control my breathing. I don't even notice the heat most of the time because I know that my breath can, and will, get me through any situation. In other words, I am very comfortable with being uncomfortable because I have breathed through it all: exhaustion, dehydration, heat, nausea, gas, tingling limbs, hyperextended knees, dizziness, sweat (mine and that of others), cramps, the body odor of other people, needing to use the bathroom, giggling from new students, distracting neighbors, headaches, sore muscles, etc.

I haven't done Bikram yoga in two days, and I feel like I'm forgetting something -- like something is missing. My body misses the yoga, and my mind misses the meditation.

So now I want to go through all of the 26 postures and sort of review where I am at, any breakthroughs I made, and whether my expectations of the postures were met, where applicable.

Pranayama breathing: As I trace my eyes across the ceiling in pushing my head back, I notice that my neck allows my head to go further than it used to. It's a very subtle change, but it feels so good to drop my head back that far.

Half moon: I have always been gifted at the first part of half moon because I have a very flexible spine. But in the past 100 days, I have honed the form of my half moon posture, focusing on gripping my hands to create strength, locking my knees and elbows, putting my weight in my heels, and opening my rib cage/chest up to the ceiling like a flower petal blooming. Sometimes my right foot lifts as I stretch up and over to my left, and it is hard to keep the foot planted on the floor. It's a constant balance and a constant struggle to maintain good form. And it's actually the only part of the warm-up postures that I enjoy (maybe because it's the part I'm best at).

I can do a deep backward bend in the second part of half moon in the afternoon and evening classes, but I struggle to go back very far in the early morning classes (which, of course, makes complete sense). I don't think I improved or changed this posture at all, except now I consciously make an effort to keep all of my weight in my heels and move my arms back over my face.

I still struggle in the third part of half moon. I cannot get my chest on my knees or my face below my knees. I cannot grab my heels from behind -- I can barely grab the bottoms of my feet and pull. Lately, I have started to wrap my elbows behind my legs and try to push my hands down toward my feet. I know my aim is to create a Japanese ham sandwich. This posture used to be very difficult to even attempt because my feet and ankles used to cramp, but now I am able to at least try it, which I think is progress.

Awkward pose: Why is this pose still so difficult for me?! I wish I could sit it out every class.

Eagle pose: This is the pose that makes me dread class sometimes. By Eagle, I am usually cramped and in need of a miniature break. And I just can't do it. I'm no closer to doing it now than I was at the beginning of my 100 days. Can you hear my frustration?

Standing head to knee: I can lock my knee, but I cannot grab my foot. I think, on some level, I expected to at least be able to grab my foot at the end of the 100 days. Nope. It might be a few years before I can grab my foot.

Standing bow pose: I have the form, and I can hold the posture for maybe a 10-second maximum in the second set, but mostly I just fall in and out of this posture over and over again. But as one of my teachers, Alex, has said: "Humans fall out, yogis get back in." Still, I cannot find the balance between the stretch and the kick. I do not believe that the harder I kick I could stay in the posture all day. But I'm keeping an open mind.

Balancing stick: Some days I can do it, and some days I can't. Not much more to say about that.

Standing separate leg stretching: This is the posture I want so desperately to be able to do. Who doesn't want to safely stretch their hamstrings, hips, and lower spine? I can now grab my heels in the posture, which I was unable to do for over half of the challenge. I can pull and begin to feel the opening, but I can never hold the posture long enough to unlock its benefits.

Triangle: The key to this posture is controlling the breath. If I don't breathe, I can't triangulate very well (that's a verb now).

Standing separate leg head to knee: I still cannot touch my forehead to my knee in this posture, but I am closer than I was 100 days ago! At first I thought my belly was prohibiting me, although I have seen people much larger than I am put their head to their knees with no problem. Now I think the problem is with my lower spine -- it doesn't round forward the way it needs to in order to accomplish this posture. I think success in this posture will thus correlate to success in Rabbit.

Tree pose: Sometimes I have a difficult time keeping the grip on my foot, especially my right foot. Notably, my hips are opening up and my knees are getting closer to being in line on both sides.

Toe stand: As the challenge went on, I began bending at the waist and putting my hands on the floor while keeping my foot as high as possible on my thigh. Now I can get down into toe stand, but I fall out immediately.

Savasana: Oh, sweet glory. Inner dialogue: "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Oh the teacher is walking by the door, maybe she'll crack it. Breathe in, breathe out. Don't wipe the sweat. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Okay, I will feel better if I scratch that itch -- wait, do you scratch and itch or itch a scratch? Either way, I don't believe what the teacher says. I do feel better after scratching my itch. Breathe in, breathe out. Wait, wind-removing pose already? That was two minutes? Oh, fine."

Wind-removing pose: My knees are getting closer to my shoulders, my grip is much stronger, but I am no closer to grabbing my elbows over my knees in the third part of this posture.

Sit-up: The key to success in this posture is clenching my abs and butt. Sometimes the sit-up is energizing, sometimes it is exhausting, and I don't understand the when or why of it. I can grab my toes to complete the sit-up, but I'm still unable to touch my forehead to my knees when doing so.

Cobra pose: This posture has improved a lot! I can make it so only my belly button is touching the floor, but I cannot lift my head up and back as much as the teachers can.

Locust pose: I hate this posture even more than I hate Eagle, and I skip it frequently because it makes me out of breath. Putting my arms under my body so my elbows are touching underneath me causes severe nausea for me. I now compromise by not putting my arms so far under my body and can handle the posture a bit better now. It's still killer though.

Full locust pose: I don't foresee my hips being the only things that touch the floor anytime soon, especially since my legs can't lift up very high, but I can raise my chest and arms in the air a lot higher now than I could at the beginning of the challenge. Something seems to have changed/strengthened in my back muscles. IT FEELS AMAZING!

Bow: Hey, I can grab both of my feet now! I think my shoulders needed to open up more so I could reach back on my own.

Fixed firm pose: This posture has never been difficult for me. It's my favorite pose! I could hold it forever.

Half-tortoise: My goal in this posture has been to touch my forehead to the floor before or at about the same time that the edge of my pinky fingers touch the floor. I'm building the core strength to do that -- making progress every class!

Camel: Something has released in my shoulders that allows me to lower them and almost separate them back from their sockets (if that makes sense) when I am grabbing my heels. I LOVE CAMEL! One of our teachers, Amy, sometimes lets us extend the second set of camel, allowing us to hold it and go deeper for up to a minute. I want to continue exploring depth in this posture.

Rabbit: Rabbit has always been difficult for me because I can't sit on my heels and grab them, I have to put my feet on either side of my hips and grab my heels from that position. I could not put my head to the floor with a tight grip on my heels until at least day 70, and I still struggle holding that position for the full length of the posture. When people describe how good Rabbit feels, like each vertebrae in their spine is getting nice and juicy and healthy, I am so jealous! Why am I so naturally good at backbends but so terrible at forward compressions?

Head to knee pose and stretching pose: I can sometimes touch my head to my knees in the first and second part of this posture, which is a huge accomplishment! For a long time, I sat this posture out because I hated it and felt I couldn't do it properly. One morning, our 6:30 a.m. teacher, Michelle, yelled at me, "I've taken class with you, and you never do this posture! You're going to do it today!" And she sat down next to me and did it with me. I had a difficult time getting my right foot parallel to the front mirror (I think it pigeons in because of its deep arch), and it was painful for a while. Luckily (or unluckily), another teacher, Kristin, was in that same 6:30 a.m. class and started calling me out in her classes to finish that posture, too. I couldn't escape! But now that I know how to do that last part of the posture and can get both of my knees locked, flat to the ground, and pull properly, this posture feels great! I definitely needed that extra push (so thank you, Kristin and Michelle, if you're reading this).

Spine-twisting: I can't keep both hips on the floor in this posture if I bend the knee that I am supposed to grab with my hand, so I extend that leg out in front of me. I'm still not sure if I'm doing this posture correctly or accomplishing anything with it every time that I do it.

Blowing in firm: Lock my elbows, chest up, spine straight, and don't move my lips. I think it takes a while for people to understand that, as so many people seem to be blowing from their lips instead of exhaling naturally from their lips.

Finally, I want to encourage everyone to challenge themselves in some way with this yoga -- even if it is only a 14-day challenge. Like I have said in previous posts, each class builds on the previous class and is just better if you go on consecutive days. The hardest thing about Bikram yoga is just SHOWING UP. If you get through the door, your body will take care of the rest. As I have learned, even if your mind is giving you a million excuses, this yoga is so great for the body. Our bodies need and crave to be challenged in these ways.

Don't expect miracles, but believe that miracles can happen. 

92 classes/ 95 days

Here I am, only 8 classes away from 100 classes in 100 days. I stopped blogging about my experience for such a long time because it was counterproductive to what I was trying to do in each class -- not hold on to things. When the standing series is over, let the standing series go. When the spine-strengthening series is over, let the spine-strengthening series go. And let the whole class go and truly relax in final savasana. Let everything go -- all the expectations, the judgments, the responsibilities, the insecurities ... everything. One of the teachers at my studio says, "Right to relax" when we change from a posture to savasana. I know she means "go straight to relaxation," but I like to imagine that she means we have earned the "right" to relax, as if it is a privilege we attain after giving so much effort.

If you happen upon this blog and are in the beginning, middle, or end of a challenge or if you are thinking about embarking on a yoga challenge, be careful about reflecting too much on your classes as they happen. Bikram yoga is all about the cumulative effects of the postures and of the classes. Each posture builds on the previous posture, just as each class builds on the previous class. This is true even if our bodies are different every day. The change is happening at a cellular level -- inside out, bones to skin, fingertips to toes. To dissect it too soon would be disruptive to that process. That said, I plan on posting a long reflection of this experience once my 100 days is over.

56 classes/ 60 days

I did a double today (8am and 430pm), and I felt great in both classes! Maybe I'm turning a corner ... ? It was my 60th day, after all!

51 classes/56 days

I'm five classes behind; most days I don't want to go to class; and my skin and sleep have not improved from this yoga, as is often promised. If anything, my skin is more dry, which might be because of the weather, and I need a lot more sleep!

The past few classes, I have been falling out of postures (more like toppling) toward the end of the standing series. It's not that my legs hurt or that I don't want to do the posture -- I literally cannot hold myself up. My legs feel as if they are going to collapse under me, especially during triangle pose. Is it muscle fatigue? I don't want another excuse not to do a set of postures. I'm going to ignore it and keep on until I fall down, because maybe I won't fall down. How can I know if I don't try?

But there is some good news! I can now grab both of my feet in bow! And I am clearing my schedule to make this challenge -- this commitment to the health of my mind and body -- a top priority.

39 classes/43 days

I have been trying to follow three mantras in my recent classes:

"Just because you hurt doesn't mean you're hurting yourself." -- Lynn Whitlow, Posture Clinic, September 29, 2012

"Stand still. Be still. Stay in the moment." 

(This one is by far the biggest challenge for me. I am quite the fidgeter/sweat wiper.)

"If you can, you must. If you can't, try."

I haven't been blogging the past dozen or so days because I've been so focused on these three mantras. If I focused on anything else (such as thinking about a blog topic), my practice would be disrupted. 

My attitude? 

Practice now, reflect later. 

31 classes/32 days

This is the first time that I am in yoga debt during this challenge. I'm fairly certain that I have a pulled muscle somewhere around my abdomen. I'm popping ibuprofen, and I have a heating pad strapped snugly to my stomach.

I'm hoping that a day off will help the healing process. I'll do a double to make up this deficit as soon as I am able.

(Yes, I feel very guilty for not going to class.)

29 classes/29 days

I was hit with a dooming trifecta in class today.

1. I wore aviator sunglasses while on a whale-watching boat off the coast of Provincetown, MA, and have an ... interesting sunburn on my face (think raccoon). 
2. My side hurt worse than ever before and the pain was wrapping around my side into my back, rendering impossible any posture involving my abdominal muscles. I refused to push past the pain today ... it was too intense!
3. My stomach hurt.

In all truth, I probably should have skipped class today. I feel bad for resting out so many postures and sucking the positive energy from the room while everyone else works so hard. I console myself by saying at least I worked on some muscle memory by locking my leg and balancing in the beginning of the standing series. And I was able to do a pretty killer Fixed Firm Pose by pulling my shoulders closer to my hips to create a deeper backward bend and stronger tourniquet effect.

As bad as my body can feel in class, I still crave the yoga and look forward to class tomorrow. It will be my 30th day!

28 classes/28 days

I have practiced Bikram yoga 28 times in as many days ... but it seems more like a routine than a challenge at this point. The yoga studio provides a fantastic sense of community and support. Ann Marie brings in great teachers who have taught all over the world, and it's amazing to hear and connect with each new teacher's words.

I wanted very badly to connect tonight with Emily's (instructor who owns three studios in Anne Arundel County, Maryland) words, but I felt dizzy and nauseous for the first time since I started this challenge. I had trouble balancing on one leg. Sucking my stomach in for postures made me feel fatigued and breathless. I feel like I gave my all in the first breathing exercise and the rest of the standing series was spent trying not to feel like a failure -- trying not to think about how great the past few classes were and how difficult this class was.

My left side has been cramping and causing me pain that varies in severity from posture to posture, and tonight's class was no different. I actually spoke to my doctor yesterday about the pain -- it's not my spleen or my large intestine, so I imagine it is from the yoga. I know my body is changing, and I can see and feel the changes although they may not be readily apparent to others.

Although tonight's class was tough for me, I stayed true to the goal I blogged about yesterday and did all of the postures to the best of my ability in the floor series, despite feeling fatigued. Tonight's class marks the first time I have ever pushed past fatigue -- I usually just rest out postures when I lack energy and stamina.

27 classes/27 days

Catra (short for Cleocatra because of the stripes shooting out of her eyes), our 6-month-old kitten, woke me up at 5a.m. this morning, so I decided to take the 630a.m. class.

How can anyone resist this adorable face?

Class went well, and it didn't feel like a double (I did a class at 6p.m. last night, too).

I find myself engaging in too much anticipation and not enough doing. I've been trying to curb the drama and allow my body to follow the teachers' dialogue instead of allowing my mind to talk me out of postures. And that's what convinced me to do the 630a.m. class -- instead of worrying it was too much in too short of a time period, I just showed up! Next thing I know, it's 8a.m. and I've already done my Bikram class for the day!

I especially need to work on not anticipating what I perceive to be the negative effects of postures. For example, whenever I do locust, I have a hard time doing full locust next because I'm still trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate. I prefer full locust, so I sacrifice locust. But how am I ever going to get through a class doing all 26 postures if I don't build strength in each and every one of the postures? Again, I just need to let the words guide my body and stop letting my mind convince me I cannot achieve my goal. I need to put matter (body) over mind (as opposed to mind over matter) ...

25 classes/25 days

I'm on a Bikram yoga high. Great class this afternoon! My body and my postures feel inexplicably different -- little changes day by day. Yay!

24 classes/24 days

This has been a rough week for me physically -- lots of stomach issues that would have kept me in bed if not for this challenge. Attendance is compulsory, and I treat it as such. I am not giving in to lame excuses (something of which I am proud). 

I rested out the floor series for the past few days, but today I felt strong and rocked out straight through the floor series! I was having some stomach issues again, so I took ibuprofen before class, which seemed to help. (But I feel so guilty taking ibuprofen! We're supposed to feel the pain inside the hot box, and ibuprofen dulls the welcomed pain sensations.)

I'm still working on strengthening my arm and leg muscles, and I'm still working on correcting my pelvic tilt. I no longer feel lower back pain thanks to such corrections, but I'm approaching the back bends differently -- trying not to bend from the lower back and making sure my upper and middle back are bending, too. 

Yesterday in class, Ann Marie commented that while Half Moon is a flexibility enhancing posture for most people, it is a strengthening posture for me because I already have the flexibility (I was just born with a flexible spine -- it's not something I've worked toward). My hands twist like Oreo cookies in the first part of Half Moon, and I need to work on straightening my hands and gluing my palms together up to the wrist. Half Moon is now a very challenging posture. 

Lynn Whitlow, a senior teacher on Bikram's Teacher Training staff, is coming to our studio in two weeks to teach class and hold a posture clinic. I'm so excited to learn new expressions of the postures. Right now my goal is to be able to do the entire class without sitting out a single set of a posture when Lynn is here. I want to learn as much as possible from her (that will be my 38th class!), and I learn best by simultaneously listening and doing, not just watching. 

As of now, I always seem to sit out one or both sets of Standing Separate Leg Stretching because my legs are so wobbly from locking them tightly in the previous postures that I literally cannot stand up. The same is true for Eagle -- I just don't have the strength to stay in the posture. I find this ironic because those are the two postures I want and need to do the most -- I'm missing out on all the benefits of each! 

21 classes/21 days

Bikram Yoga Brewster's owner and instructor, Ann Marie, corrected my posture and changed my life and my practice tonight. (THANK YOU!)

Before class today, I talked to her about pain I have been experience in my lower back. She noticed that I naturally tilt my pelvis forward and suggested that I tuck it up and under, which forces me to engage my core muscles. 

WOW! What a difference this made in my practice tonight. I felt as if I was learning the series all over again -- I had to figure out how to breathe properly, how to stand with my weight on my heels, how to rest in savasana, how to balance on one foot, etc. I had to sit out a few postures, but I felt SO ENERGIZED and EXCITED to learn about my tilt and to start correcting it. I'm even sitting with my pelvis tucked up and under now! 

I'm anticipating soreness in my abs, but I can deal with that so much better than a pinched nerve in my lower back. I need to strengthen my core anyway. 

19 classes/19 days

Everyone always talks about how Bikram yoga will make you sleep better than you ever have in your life. I currently find no truth in that statement. 

I'm having trouble falling asleep at night, and when I get to sleep, I'm having trouble staying asleep (which might be because of our four cats playing and begging for attention). The muscles in my back, on my sides, and in my shoulders feel as though they are shifting, changing, and rearranging. It is quite painful and uncomfortable, and I find myself popping more ibuprofen than I would like. Luckily, I do not feel the pain and discomfort as much in class because of the heat. I have intentionally placed myself in hotter spots of the room the past few classes to get as much exposure to heat as possible. 

I also find myself waking up several times each night to empty my bladder. This is very unusual for me. I used to be able to go to sleep and not move for 10 hours. Now I'm tossing and turning and making trips to the bathroom at all hours of the night. (I'm not necessarily drinking more water than I used to -- drinking water has been a sort of hobby of mine for years -- and I have healthy sweat beads all over my body in class, so what gives?)

And on top of all of that, I find myself yawning when I take the morning classes because I am not getting enough sleep. I'm fortunate enough to be able to take long naps in the afternoons to catch up on sleep, but this is a less-than-ideal schedule. And I worry what will happen when I get a job -- how do people who work full weeks do a challenge? I'm exhausted, and I'm not even working!

16 classes/16 days

New teacher, new energy in class; same intense pain and tightness in my achilles. 

But ultimately I'm just another body on a mat. 

14 classes/14 days

I'm a wimp.

It's raining and thundering, and there's a whole lotta lightning. And I don't like driving through standing water (of which there is a lot).

So no yoga for me today. It's not worth feeling like I'm going to die.

(I know. Excuses, excuses.)

14 classes/13 days

I feel stronger and stronger each day, especially in my legs (with the exception of my achilles). I like locking my knee so hard that it feels like it's pressing against the pit of my knee.

13 classes/12 days

After helping me grab both of my feet today in bow, Ann Marie, the owner of Bikram Yoga Brewster, announced my 100-day challenge to the class and asked if she could send the link to this blog to the studio's mailing list. She called my blog "raw" and "honest." Well, I don't know how to be anything else!

While being applauded in savasana is a little embarrassing (I'm doing this for myself, not for recognition), people following my "progress" and cheering me on increases my accountability to myself and to my practice. It's always easy to make excuses: my head hurts, my muscles are sore, I'm tired, I ate too much, I'm hungry, etc. The hardest thing about Bikram yoga is just getting to the studio. Just get there, and the rest will work itself out in the moving meditation.

So, thank you for reading, and thank you for helping to hold me accountable. Feel free to leave comments on my posts or to friend me on Facebook!

n.b. -- Class went well today. And as I mentioned above, I was able to grab my foot in bow with some help. I'm so close to being able to grab both feet on my own. Also, my achilles are still so achy during the warm-up postures. When I got a massage the other day, the massage therapist commented that my achilles are very tight and I have to be careful not to move beyond pain. I'm doing my best to be honest with myself -- I do want to feel the stretch, and I do not want to make any more excuses for myself in the hot box!

And finally:

 We will miss you, Andy! Good luck in Vienna! Come back soon!

12 classes/11 days

I was a bit tired in class today because I stayed up later than I should have.

But I HAD to watch the Oregon Ducks' season opener.

I wish I could have been at Autzen.

That's all for today! Looking forward to class in the morning!

11 classes/10 days

I dipped into my yoga savings bank -- having pulled two doubles recently -- on Thursday and didn't attend any classes. Instead, I got a deep tissue massage. I was still in an extraordinary amount of pain ... and everything was just off.

Then I went to class on Friday, which I left feeling as bad as I describe in the previous post. I went to the supermarket and got a venti caramel frappuccino, a pistachio muffin, and a powdered donut (all of which I split/shared with my partner). I was feeling self-destructive. I came home and sobbed for no apparent reason, and I felt depressed all day. I was in a very dark place. I described it to my partner, who is a writer, as writing pages of brilliant material and then watching the computer crash and finding that everything on the computer is irretrievable. I had been practicing Bikram yoga fairly regularly for the past few weeks, and I was seeing improvements, however subtle, in each class. Then BAM. I crashed.

It turns out that everything I was experiencing -- from the soreness to the feeling that my muscles were replaced with wet sandbags, from the fatigue to the intense headache, from the stomach cramps to the nausea -- was a result of forgetting to take my daily dosage of medicine for a few days. I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms!

Today I went to class and felt great. I had taken my medicine, and I had even taken a pill of the important B vitamins. I was able to do most of the postures, although I sat out a full set of a few postures. I'm still regaining some strength, but I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN!

9 classes/7 days

It feels as if each of my limbs were tied to horses and those horses moved slowly forward inch by inch just short of tearing me apart.

Everything hurts. 

Even my head hurts. 

I could feel it last night when I got home, and I could feel it this morning when I woke up. Today was a day I would have skipped yoga if not for this challenge, but I made myself go. I thought the stretching would help. Bikram yoga is touted as the best medicine, but today I felt as if I were trying to put out a fire in my body with gasoline. Yes, the yoga made me feel worse! My body did not feel like my own in class -- I could barely stand.

And it hit me emotionally afterwards, which Bikram yoga has never done before. I wanted to be alone, and I felt cranky. 

All I could think about during class was going to the local health food store for a Kombucha and some Mexican salted almond chocolate, getting a manicure, and then going out for a lobster roll and french fries.

Luckily, my partner agreed to take me out to lunch and we had a pleasant time. I got all that I had wanted for myself post-yoga, and then I came home and slept for a few hours. The cravings and the sleep did not alleviate much pain, but I'm feeling better emotionally. 

And I believe that tomorrow will be a better day. 

Trying the right way (8 classes/6 days)

I know I should be bursting with energy, but I am quite wiped out after completing a morning and evening class! I feel as if lemmings are rebuilding all of the muscles in my legs, and I am looking forward to going to sleep in an air-conditioned room.

My morning class was great, and I owe a lot of that to an instructor who taught at Bikram Yoga Brewster for a couple of months this summer: Laurie.

Toward the end of her stay, Laurie spoke sternly to me after class one day. She said she sees my grimaces and she knows I am upset with myself when I am unable to do postures and instead rest out in savasana. She told me I need to try, even if I can't do it. One day I will be able to do it. Always try. Try the right way.

So I've been trying the right way. I can't touch my forehead to my knee in the compression postures. I can't reach both of my feet in bow. I can't grab my heels in rabbit unless my hips are between my heels. But when I can, I try.

And today I saw pay off. I usually skip locust pose, mostly because it makes me feel nauseous and that nausea ruins the next few postures for me. But today I tried it, and I was able to lift both of my feet off the ground at the same time! So I was super excited to do it again in the evening, but alas my nausea was back.

I have struggled with nausea since starting my Bikram yoga journey in 2009, and I know most of it is what and when I eat.

Part of trying the right way is eating the right way, and I'm trying that, too. I gave up dairy (milk and cheese, I occasionally have real butter with bread at restaurants) in June. I have also recently realized that as much as I love red meat (oh, I love it a lot), it does not love me back. Ideally, I'd like to eat a mostly plant-based diet with an occasional serving of fish for protein. Right now I can only cut back on red meat because we have so much of it in the house that it would be a waste for me not to partake. My parents sent me a huge cooler full of meat for my birthday in July, and there's no way I'm not eating those sirloin steaks! I know I will just suffer in Bikram the next day, and I will have to be okay with that. Or maybe I won't suffer at all. No expectations, right? That's such an important mantra of this yoga. As Andy, a Bikram Yoga Brewster instructor, said tonight: Sometimes you think you're going to have a bad class and you come and have a great class. Let go of expectations.

I'm working on letting go of my expectations. And I'm trying the right way!

6 classes/5 days

Good news! I'm going to start cleaning my yoga studio twice a week in exchange for free yoga! Maybe the money I'm saving can go toward new outfits ... and Kombucha ... and coconut water ... and burritos.

I went to class this morning and planned on going to a second class tonight but am feeling a bit sleepy. I'm aiming for a double tomorrow! 

I felt overly fatigued after camel in class today -- I think I need to work on my core strength to maintain stamina through each class. I'm hoping that I will gain that strength just by going to yoga more often. I can say that I will try some planks, and I might do planks occasionally, but between yoga and biking, I feel like I am already doing a lot of exercising. 

That's all I have to report today. I don't want to focus too much on my daily struggles in the hot box -- I'd rather leave it in there and walk into the next class with a clean slate. I'm looking forward, not backward! 

Just starting (5 classes/4 days)

A few days ago, the owner of the studio I go to posted a link to a website that describes the benefits of doing a 100-day Bikram yoga challenge.

As I am currently unemployed and new to Cape Cod, I decided to embark on a personal challenge: practice Bikram yoga every day for 100 days. That will bring me through to November 30. I already know there are a few days I will be unable to practice (whale-watching cruise in September and 10-year high school reunion in Maryland in October), so I will have to count the days on which I do double classes as replacing the days on which I cannot practice.

I also just purchased a Trek 7.2 bicycle and plan on riding as often as I can in addition to the yoga.

As of today, I have done 5 classes in 4 days.


Current concern: I am experiencing intense pain in my achilles during the warm-up postures. Ready for the pain to go away!

Something to be happy about: I love doing backbends!